Four Laws of Language Evolution That Prove Humans Are Predictably Chaotic
I didn’t expect to get humbled by verbs. Not politicians, not markets, not even my own calendar—but verbs. Yet here we are, staring down something far more ruthless than a bear market: the quiet realization that human language, that chaotic, messy, wildly creative thing we all use to complain about Mondays and argue on the internet, is… predictable. Not just predictable— lawful . Apparently, beneath all the slang, memes, Shakespearean flair, corporate jargon, and passive-aggressive “per my last email”s, there are patterns. Universal ones. The kind that show up whether you’re speaking English, Mandarin, Swahili, or whatever hybrid dialect your group chat has evolved into. And these patterns don’t just exist—they follow rules. Four of them, to be exact. Four “surprising laws” that explain how languages evolve. “Surprising,” they say. Which is academic speak for: we thought this was chaos, but it turns out humans are just doing the same weird stuff over and over again, everywhere, fo...
