When it comes to understanding what makes people thrive, we like to look at big, dramatic causes—breakthroughs in science, geopolitical stability, the rise and fall of economies. But it turns out, one of the most profound influences on lifelong well-being starts small, often messy, and mostly unremarked upon: the daily, unglamorous business of being someone’s parent.
A groundbreaking study by Jonathan T. Rothwell and Telli Davoodi has brought this concept out of the shadows and onto the world stage. Published in Communications Psychology, their research explored the link between the quality of parent-child relationships and adult well-being, gathering insights from 21 countries across the globe. And the results? They confirm what every psychology textbook, exasperated therapist, and a few million mom blogs have been saying for decades: your relationship with your parents can make or break your adulthood.
Parenting: Not Just a Local Concern
Past research into parent-child dynamics has typically been conducted in single-country settings, often focusing on narrow demographics. While valuable, these studies have struggled to account for cultural, socioeconomic, and geographic diversity. Rothwell and Davoodi, however, weren’t content with small potatoes. They dove into a data pool of 200,000 interviews and surveys spanning 21 countries, ensuring their findings represented the human family in all its complexity.
Their study asked adults pointed questions about their childhood relationships with their parents. Did they feel loved? Was the relationship “very good,” “somewhat good,” or (brace yourself) “very bad”? Did they feel like an outsider in their family? Using these answers, the researchers built an index of parent-child relationship quality and cross-referenced it with indicators of adult well-being, including mental health, hope, gratitude, and satisfaction with one’s health.
The results were as unambiguous as they were sweeping. Across all 21 countries, the quality of parent-child relationships was the strongest predictor of adult flourishing—beating out heavyweight contenders like socioeconomic status, education level, and household income.
Universal Lessons, Local Nuances
Rothwell and Davoodi’s findings confirmed that the bond between parents and children holds universal significance. However, they also revealed intriguing differences in how these relationships play out across cultures.
In wealthier, secular countries, the link between parent-child dynamics and adult well-being was particularly strong. This might sound surprising at first, but it makes sense when you consider that in high-income nations, basic survival needs—food, safety, shelter—are often met. People have the luxury to focus on their emotional and psychological needs, and that’s where family relationships come to the fore.
Meanwhile, in developing countries, the picture is complicated by challenges like poverty, war, and systemic instability. These factors can overshadow the impact of parenting, though the connection remains significant.
Religion: A Surprising Ally
One of the study’s more unexpected findings was the role of religiosity. More religious parents, it turns out, tend to report better relationships with their children. While the reasons for this are still up for debate, it may have to do with religious traditions emphasizing family unity, moral teaching, and structured parenting practices.
However, this raises some challenging questions for modern, secular societies. As nations grow wealthier and less religious, do they risk losing valuable parenting wisdom embedded in tradition? Rothwell himself acknowledges the cultural tightrope we’re walking, cautioning against tossing aside practices that might nurture stronger parent-child bonds simply because they seem outdated or unfashionable.
Your Parenting Checklist: It Matters More Than You Think
So, what does this mean for parents trying to raise happy, well-adjusted humans? It’s both simple and daunting: the little things you do every day—the bedtime stories, the hugs, the “How was your day?” conversations—are the building blocks of your child’s future well-being.
But before you spiral into guilt over every missed soccer game or grumpy morning, take heart. Rothwell and Davoodi’s findings suggest that the overall quality of the relationship, not any one moment, is what matters most. Feeling loved, supported, and included in the family? Those are the big-ticket items.
From Data to Action
This research isn’t just an intellectual exercise; it’s a call to action. Rothwell and Davoodi hope their findings will inspire both parents and policymakers to prioritize the parent-child relationship.
For parents, this might mean rethinking priorities. Maybe it’s not the end of the world if your kid skips violin practice or gets a B in math, as long as they feel secure in your love and support. For policymakers, the study points to the need for family-friendly policies—think paid parental leave, affordable childcare, and mental health resources.
Future Directions: Where Do We Go From Here?
Rothwell isn’t done yet. In 2025, he and his colleagues at Gallup plan to launch a new U.S. survey on parenting, aiming to fine-tune their understanding of what parenting practices lead to the best outcomes. He’s also keen to explore the interplay between parenting, character development, and genetics—a juicy topic that could further illuminate how nature and nurture dance together in shaping a person.
And there’s a book in the works, too. Rothwell hopes to distill his findings and insights into a practical, accessible guide for parents and policymakers alike.
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, this research boils down to a profound but deceptively simple truth: the quality of our relationships with the people who raise us matters. A lot. It shapes how we see ourselves, how we navigate challenges, and how we thrive—or don’t—in the world.
So if you’re a parent, take a deep breath. Yes, the stakes are high, but the solution is within reach. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being present, engaged, and loving. And for those of us still grappling with the effects of our own childhoods, this research offers a lens for understanding—and perhaps healing—the roots of our struggles.
In the grand scheme of human flourishing, it turns out that parenting isn’t just a personal endeavor. It’s a global one. So, no pressure—but also, maybe a little pressure. After all, the future of humanity might just depend on it.
