There’s something inherently disturbing about the trajectory of modern television hardware. What used to be a straightforward product category—screen, pixels, maybe a few HDMI ports—is now a Frankenstein-esque mishmash of "smart" features no one asked for. Worse yet, these features seem more like Trojan horses for targeted ads and surveillance capitalism than anything genuinely useful. But fear not: Apple Television might be the antidote to these absurd trends, or at least it could offer a break from the sheer madness of CES announcements.
Let’s dig into the problem, revel in the absurdity, and explore why Apple might be uniquely positioned to fix—or at least laugh in the face of—what’s happening in the TV market.
TVs Have Gone from "Smart" to "Big Brother, but Dumber"
Every year, CES provides a dystopian glimpse into how TV manufacturers aim to ruin a perfectly good viewing experience. This year was no exception. Instead of focusing on essentials like better picture quality, intuitive interfaces, or reliable hardware, the big players seem to have turned their focus toward gimmicks, data harvesting, and AI-powered nonsense.
Here are some highlights—or lowlights—from CES:
AI Remotes
LG decided that the “input button” on your remote was passé. Instead, it’s been replaced with a shortcut to their webOS dashboard, a move that only makes sense if you realize LG sees your eyeballs as ad revenue streams. Instead of toggling between HDMI inputs, you’re now toggling between which ad ecosystem gets to mine your habits first.Far-Field Microphones for Google Gemini
Because who wouldn’t want their TV doubling as an always-on microphone for Google? You know, the company that definitely doesn’t already have enough information about you. LG and Samsung are diving headfirst into this world, with fuzzy privacy implications galore. Sure, you might get some voice commands out of it, but at what cost? (Spoiler: your soul. And your data.)Samsung’s Food-Analyzing AI
Samsung apparently thinks you need an AI tool to look at the food in your TV shows and recommend recipes. Yes, you read that correctly. It’s a feature that nobody asked for, except perhaps Instacart, which Samsung conveniently partnered with. Because what’s more immersive than watching "The Great British Bake Off" and having your TV nag you about buying eggs?Microsoft Copilot on TVs
Both LG and Samsung are cramming Microsoft Copilot—an AI chatbot—into their TVs. Why? No one really knows. What’s the use case here? Asking your TV what the weather is? Chatting with your TV about existential dread while binge-watching The Last of Us? The possibilities are as baffling as they are unnecessary.
Apple’s Opportunity to Bring Sanity to the Market
Now, imagine an alternative to all this chaos: an Apple Television. A product that doesn’t treat its users like lab rats in a grand experiment to monetize every pixel they consume. Here’s why Apple is uniquely qualified to clean up this mess:
Privacy-First Design
Apple’s commitment to user privacy is one of its core brand values. While other companies see data as a cash cow, Apple has (so far) resisted the temptation to milk it. An Apple TV set would likely offer features without selling out its users. No spying microphones. No intrusive ads baked into the interface. Just a television.Unified Hardware and Software
One of Apple’s strengths is its ability to integrate hardware and software seamlessly. Imagine a TV with an interface as smooth as iOS, no bloatware, and instant connectivity with your other Apple devices. Add in AirPlay, HomeKit integration, and the Apple TV app, and you’ve got a recipe for a cohesive ecosystem that doesn’t make you want to chuck the remote through the screen.A Refreshingly Simple Remote
Speaking of remotes, Apple already nailed this with the revamped Apple TV remote. It’s minimal, intuitive, and mercifully free of AI gimmicks. The thought of using it for an Apple Television, instead of the monstrosities other companies call “remotes,” is borderline utopian.Focus on Quality over Gimmicks
Apple has a track record of eschewing pointless features in favor of polished essentials. Imagine a TV that prioritizes stunning display quality, robust build, and features you actually use. No recipe suggestions. No chatbots. Just a beautiful screen for content consumption.
But… Won’t Apple Just Chase Services Revenue Too?
Let’s address the elephant in the room: Apple’s increasing reliance on services revenue. Yes, the company has been pushing its subscription offerings hard. Yes, they’re deeply invested in AI research. But there’s a crucial difference between Apple and its competitors: Apple actually understands what makes a good product.
At its core, Apple’s philosophy hinges on delivering a harmonious user experience. When Apple creates hardware, software, and services, it does so with the intent of enhancing the product as a whole—not turning it into a glorified data vacuum. Sure, you’ll get a hard sell for Apple TV+ and iCloud storage, but you won’t find ads for dish soap embedded into the settings menu.
Snarky Predictions for the Future of TV
If CES trends are any indication, here’s what we can “look forward to” in the next few years if Apple doesn’t step in:
Subscription-Based Remotes
Want to use the volume button? That’ll be $3.99 a month. Oh, and don’t forget to pay extra for ad-free input toggling!AI-Powered Judgey TVs
Your TV now shames you for rewatching The Office for the 12th time. “Have you considered branching out? Here are some critically acclaimed options from our sponsor, [Insert Streaming Service Here].”Integrated Social Media for Screen Time Shaming
Your TV will start tweeting about how many hours you’ve spent binge-watching Stranger Things. (“Congrats to @user123 for hitting 20 hours this weekend! #CouchPotatoLife”)Dynamic Ad Overlays
Watching an intense car chase? Your TV overlays a pop-up ad for brake pads because, hey, synergy.
Why We Need Apple to Disrupt This Madness
The world doesn’t need another smart TV. It needs a better TV. One that respects its users and delivers an exceptional experience without gimmicks or invasions of privacy. Apple has the design chops, ecosystem strength, and philosophy to make this happen.
Whether it actually will—or whether we’re doomed to a future of TVs that analyze our popcorn choices for ad targeting—remains to be seen. But one thing is clear: Apple Television could be the hero we need, even if it’s not the one we deserve.
What do you think? Are you ready for Apple to save us from the TV industry’s worst instincts, or are you perfectly happy yelling at your AI-powered, ad-filled, recipe-suggesting, privacy-invading screen? Let me know in the comments. Or don’t—your TV probably already has an opinion about it.
Chicmi