Let’s face it, folks: teaching kindness to kids isn’t exactly breaking news, nor is it rocket science. Yet here we are, breathlessly heralding “kindness” as Children’s Word of the Year like it’s a groundbreaking discovery. You’d think someone just reinvented sliced bread. But apparently, the fact that 61% of kids chose "kindness" over the likes of “artificial intelligence” or “conflict” is cause for a parental pat on the back. Never mind the irony that adults are currently failing to model this value themselves (road rage, anyone?).
So, with my snark filter turned to medium-high, let’s take a closer look at five ways you could teach kindness to your kids. Just don’t forget to sprinkle in a little realism, because nothing says parenting like simultaneously demanding good behavior from tiny humans while losing your mind when the Wi-Fi goes out.
1. Model Kindness Like the Saint You’re Clearly Not
Ah, modeling kindness. It’s the parenting equivalent of that yoga pose you swear you can do until your muscles revolt. You’re supposed to be a beacon of patience and compassion, even when Karen cuts you off in the school drop-off lane. But let’s be honest—sometimes your version of “kindness” is biting your tongue while muttering unprintable words under your breath.
Here’s the trick: you don’t have to be perfect, just slightly better than average. Turn those teachable moments into gold. Did someone steal your parking space? Instead of swearing vengeance upon their family for three generations, try calmly stating, “Wow, they must really need that spot. Let’s park further away and get a few extra steps in.” (Bonus points for passive-aggressive digs your kids won’t pick up on until they’re older.)
2. Build Empathy—Without Turning Your Kid into a Doormat
“Let’s explore how others feel,” they said. “It’ll build emotional intelligence,” they promised. Sure, until your child spends 45 minutes apologizing to the family goldfish for bumping the tank. Look, empathy is great, but let’s not overdo it.
Instead of turning every moment into a tear-jerking Oprah episode, keep it simple. When your kid shoves a sibling off the couch, resist the urge to say, “How do you think your brother feels now?” (Answer: probably ready to retaliate.) Instead, try: “Ouch. That wasn’t very nice. How about we try sharing next time?” Then pat yourself on the back for navigating sibling warfare without needing the Geneva Convention.
3. Create Opportunities for Kindness That Don’t Involve Pinterest-Level Effort
“Encourage acts of kindness,” they say. Sure. Let me just carve out time between soccer practice, spelling homework, and convincing my kid to eat something green. Pinterest may tell you that kindness projects involve mason jars, glitter glue, and heartfelt handwritten notes to elderly neighbors, but in real life, we’re aiming for doable.
Start small. Can your kid hold the door for someone? Great. Write a thank-you note? Even better. Volunteer at the local soup kitchen? Admirable—but maybe wait until they’ve mastered “not throwing a tantrum when their screen time ends.” Remember, kindness doesn’t have to be complicated, just intentional. (And preferably quick.)
4. Choose Media That Promotes Kindness—As If Your Kid Would Pick Anything Else
Have you ever tried convincing a 10-year-old to watch a wholesome movie about kindness when there’s a new action-packed alien invasion flick on Netflix? Spoiler alert: they’re picking the aliens every time. Still, experts swear that the media kids consume can impact how they see the world, so it’s worth a shot.
Instead of banning all their favorite shows (and inciting a rebellion), try watching alongside them. Discuss the characters’ choices, point out the consequences of unkind actions, and maybe—just maybe—you’ll sneak in a lesson or two. Just don’t get your hopes up that your child will suddenly swap their Marvel obsession for a Hallmark Channel marathon.
5. Have Open Conversations Without Sounding Like a Walking TED Talk
“Let’s discuss kindness!” you say, hoping for a heartwarming bonding session. Five minutes later, your kid’s glazed-over expression tells you they’d rather be anywhere else—probably Minecraft. But don’t give up just yet.
Keep the conversations light and relatable. Instead of launching into a lecture about the importance of kindness, ask about their day. Did they see someone being nice? Did they do something helpful? Share your own stories (real or exaggerated for dramatic effect) about how kindness changed your life. The trick is to make it seem like a natural conversation, not a staged performance.
A Final Word on Kindness—and Keeping It Real
Yes, kindness is important. It makes the world a better place, yadda yadda yadda. But can we acknowledge that teaching kids to be kind is a marathon, not a sprint? It’s messy, imperfect, and occasionally frustrating. (Nothing builds character like trying to explain why “pushing your friend into the mud” isn’t a valid problem-solving strategy.)
So, to all the parents out there sweating over how to raise kind humans: take a deep breath. Your kid will probably turn out just fine as long as you’re trying. And if they don’t? Well, there’s always therapy.
