Ah, movies. The sacred art of staring at a glowing rectangle and feeling things. This week, our critics have taken their magnifying glasses to seven new films—some delightful, some disastrous, and some that make you wonder if Hollywood is just pulling names out of a hat. Let’s dive in, shall we?
1. ‘Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy’ – Because Trauma Builds Character
Remember Bridget Jones, the lovable, wine-chugging diary keeper who made us all feel better about our questionable life choices? Well, she’s back, and the universe has dealt her another rough hand: widowhood. (Because, sure, why not?)
Critic’s Take: This new chapter manages to capture the humor, heart, and hapless charm of the original, proving that Bridget still knows how to stumble her way through life. Renée Zellweger is effortlessly delightful, and the supporting cast does their best to remind us why we fell in love with this franchise in the first place.
Verdict: If you’re not emotionally prepared to watch Bridget Jones navigate grief with a side of quirky romance, maybe stick to your comfort binge of ‘The Great British Bake Off.’
Watch on Peacock.
2. ‘Paddington in Peru’ – The Sequel That Dares to Follow Perfection
It’s been years since Paddington 2 set an impossibly high bar for wholesome cinema. Now, our favorite marmalade-loving bear returns for another adventure, this time in Peru. Does it live up to its predecessor? That’s like asking if lightning strikes twice.
Critic’s Take: Olivia Colman and Antonio Banderas step in to fill the Hugh Grant-shaped hole in our hearts, but let’s be honest, no amount of well-acted goofiness can recreate that magic. Still, the film is charming enough, and Paddington remains the gold standard of CGI bears.
Verdict: Not quite as magical as Paddington 2, but still more heartwarming than most of the stuff clogging up your streaming queue.
In theaters now.
3. ‘Captain America: Brave New World’ – The MCU’s Existential Crisis Continues
Anthony Mackie’s Captain America is finally leading his own movie, which should be a big deal. Instead, it’s a masterclass in what happens when a franchise refuses to let itself take a nap.
Critic’s Take: The movie is choppy, the pacing is all over the place, and the visuals look like they were finished five minutes before the premiere. Mackie does his best, but even the most heroic performance can’t save a film that feels like an overcooked superhero stew.
Verdict: If you’re a Marvel completionist, you’ll watch this anyway. If not, maybe just read the Wikipedia summary and call it a day.
In theaters now.
4. ‘The Annihilation of Fish’ – A 26-Year-Old Movie Finally Gets Its Due
James Earl Jones and Lynn Redgrave star in this long-lost indie romance about two eccentric souls finding love. It’s a story about loneliness, connection, and invisible demons named Hank. (No, really.)
Critic’s Take: Sweet, odd, and deeply human, this is the kind of film that sneaks up on you. It’s proof that Hollywood should spend less time rebooting movies that were fine the first time and more time unearthing hidden gems like this one.
Verdict: If you appreciate quiet, beautifully acted love stories, this one’s for you.
In theaters now.
5. ‘La Dolce Villa’ – The Movie Equivalent of a Fluffy Italian Pastry
Scott Foley stars as a dad who tries to stop his daughter from buying a one-euro villa in Italy and ends up falling for the place himself. Because of course he does.
Critic’s Take: This is not a comedy in the sense of being funny, but rather in the sense that it’s not tragic. It’s light, predictable, and about as challenging as choosing which gelato flavor to order. But sometimes, that’s exactly what you need.
Verdict: Put on your comfiest sweater, pour a glass of wine, and let this movie hug you like a warm bowl of pasta.
Watch on Netflix.
6. ‘Universal Language’ – Niche, Odd, and Weirdly Wonderful
This surrealist comedy applies the techniques of Iranian New Wave cinema to a story set in Winnipeg, because why not?
Critic’s Take: It’s a strangely specific film that somehow finds universal appeal. If you’re a fan of Iranian cinema or just enjoy movies that take creative swings, this will delight you. If you’re neither of those things, well… maybe just smile and nod when your film-buff friend raves about it.
Verdict: The kind of movie you pretend to have seen so you can sound cultured at dinner parties.
In theaters now.
7. ‘The Gorge’ – Romance, Action, and Lots of Smoldering Stares
Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy star as agents stationed on opposite sides of a treacherous ravine, which is a perfect metaphor for this film’s mix of gripping action and ridiculous melodrama.
Critic’s Take: The action sequences are solid, the chemistry between Teller and Taylor-Joy is electric, and the script is… well, let’s just say the actors deserve a medal for delivering some of these lines with a straight face.
Verdict: If you like your romance with a side of explosions and questionable physics, this is your movie.
Streaming on Apple TV+.
So, there you have it. Seven new movies, ranging from delightful to disastrous. Whether you’re in the mood for a heartwarming bear, a painfully predictable rom-com, or yet another Marvel misstep, there’s something for everyone. Or, you know, you could just rewatch Paddington 2 and call it a night. We won’t judge.
