Providence is finally doing what Providence does best: eating, drinking, shopping, and pretending we’re classier than we actually are. Welcome to the first-ever Providence Culinary Collective, where from March 27-30, you can wine, dine, and awkwardly laugh at jokes that are probably funnier after your third glass of merlot. If you’ve ever thought, “You know what my life is missing? An overpriced wine tasting and an existential crisis triggered by artisanal cheese,” then buckle up, my friend.
The Grand Debauchery Begins
This four-day extravaganza is the brainchild of Kristen Adamo, president and CEO of the Providence Warwick Convention & Visitors Bureau. Apparently, she’s been dreaming of this festival for years, which means she’s probably been staring wistfully at wine glasses while muttering, “Someday.” Thanks to a grant from RI Commerce (read: money that didn’t go to potholes), her dream is now your slightly-too-expensive weekend plan.
What to Do (Besides Question Your Life Choices)
1. The Grand Wine Tasting at Providence G Ballroom ($55)
Thirty-five wine vendors, three expert panels, and countless opportunities to pretend you know what “notes of blackberry” actually means. Topics include “Sustainability,” which is code for “this wine won’t make you feel guilty unless you drink the whole bottle… which you will.”
2. Food Trucks at Veterans Memorial Auditorium
Because nothing says “fine dining” like standing in line for 45 minutes to get a $15 taco from a truck named “Taco’Bout It.” Pro tip: the spicier the food, the faster you forget how much you just paid for it.
3. Lil Rhody Laugh Riot
What’s funnier than overpriced wine and questionable food pairings? Actual comedians. Kevin Hart, Aziz Ansari, Leslie Jones, and Matt Rife will be there to remind you that your sense of humor isn’t as sophisticated as you thought.
4. A Celebration of Jacques Pépin at CHOP
Culinary students from the Genesis Center will showcase a globally-inspired menu, which is fancy talk for “healthier versions of food you actually like.”
5. Uncorking the Future with Mary Ann Esposito
She’s the star of "Ciao Italia," and you’ll pretend you’ve watched her show to impress your friends. This event benefits Rhode Island PBS and The Public’s Radio, so at least your $75 ticket is going somewhere other than your liver.
6. Free Visits to the Culinary Arts Museum at JWU
Finally, something free! Walk through exhibits, pretend you’re cultured, and snap a photo for Instagram with the caption “#FoodieLife.”
7. Fancy Dinners with Fancy Names
Oberlin: Wines from DuMOL’s 2022 vintage because regular wine isn’t good enough.
Capital Grille: Champagne and caviar tasting, where you’ll realize caviar tastes like fancy sea snot.
The Reserve on Dorrance: Vintners Dinner with Chef Kaitlyn Robert. It sounds exclusive because it is.
Cafe Nuovo: Pairing with Stag’s Leap Wine Cellars because who doesn’t love drinking wine with an animal name?
Sarto: Giro D’Italia wine dinner. “Giro” means “tour,” but here it means “you’re going to need a tour guide after three glasses.”
8. Mocktail Tasting on the Rooftop
For the designated drivers and people pretending to be healthy. Expect lots of ginger, herbs, and disappointment.
9. Foodcraft: An Evening of Global Flavors, Locally Made
Complimentary appetizers, specialty foods, live music, and a cash bar. Because nothing says “evening of global flavors” like paying $12 for a local craft beer.
The Backstory You Didn’t Ask For
Kristen Adamo’s been plotting this since forever, but a little thing called the pandemic slowed her roll. Fast forward to now, and she’s rallied an Avengers-level team of foodies and wine snobs to make this happen. Partners include Johnson & Wales University (aka Chef Hogwarts), Hope & Main (think: local food incubator), and Saveur magazine (because nothing legitimizes an event like a glossy magazine with perfect lighting).
Oh, and Rosanna Ortiz is handling the wine stuff. She’s been running StyleWeek since 2009, which means she knows how to make wine look sexy. Expect a lot of Napa and Sonoma representation because nothing says “I’m cultured” like drinking wine from California while sitting in a Rhode Island ballroom.
Why You Should Care
Aside from the obvious “I love food and wine” angle, this event is also partnering with Feed the Children. So, if you’re feeling guilty about spending $200 on wine tastings and artisanal goat cheese, just remember: you’re technically helping a good cause.
The “Wait, There’s More?” Section
Adamo hinted at some pop-up events. Translation: They’re still figuring it out, but they’ll definitely tell you after you’ve already bought your tickets.
For all the juicy details and to buy tickets (because you know you want to), head to GoPVDEats.com. Or don’t. But then you’ll have to watch everyone’s Instagram stories while eating leftover pizza at home.
Final Thoughts
The Providence Culinary Collective is basically a giant buffet disguised as a cultural event. Whether you’re in it for the wine, the food, the laughs, or the chance to wear that outfit you bought for “special occasions,” it’s going to be a weekend worth remembering… unless you drink too much. In that case, you’ll just have some great photos and a questionable receipt to piece it all together.
Cheers, Providence. Let’s get fancy.
