By: A Local Who Has Seen Some Things
Ah, Round Lake Beach — the quiet little corner of Lake County known for its suburban charm, splash pads, and, let’s be honest, a rather impressive collection of strip malls per square mile. But now, hold onto your hats, folks, because the Village is rolling out what they’re calling a “major draw” for the area. And no, it’s not a new Aldi or another Starbucks awkwardly plopped next to a Walgreens — it’s something far more electrifying.
Introducing: The Family Entertainment Center That Ate the Shuttered Theater.
That’s right. The abandoned husk of the Regal Cinemas on Rollins Road — which closed back in January 2023 after Regal Cinemas went bankrupt like a mid-life crisis dad trying to open a frozen yogurt franchise — will be reborn. Rebranded. Reimagined. Rethrown. (More on the axes in a minute.)
If you’ve ever driven by the old Rollins Crossing Shopping Center and thought, “You know what this forgotten temple of sticky floors and stale nacho cheese needs? A multi-level electric Go-Kart track,” then congratulations: your oddly specific dreams are coming true.
From Popcorn to Projectiles: A Glorious Transformation
According to the Village of Round Lake Beach and Thakkar Developers of Irving, Texas — because nothing screams “local investment” like developers from a state that considers air conditioning a basic human right — the new 72,000 square-foot mega-playground will feature:
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Seven movie screens (RIP to the dreams of Netflix killing the theater star)
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A full-service restaurant (because nothing pairs with kids' birthday parties like an overcooked burger and a $15 cocktail)
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Games (a.k.a. the soundscape of broken hopes and sticky tokens)
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Axe throwing (because what’s a family outing without the thrill of controlled weaponry?)
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Bar area (ah, yes, the sacred oasis for parents trapped at Chuck E. Hell)
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Space for meetings and parties (because your company retreat deserves the faint aroma of burnt pizza and Go-Kart exhaust)
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And yes, a multi-level, indoor, electric Go-Kart track (because Round Lake Beach is done playing it safe).
Truly, it's the modern suburban trifecta: sharp objects, motorized vehicles, and alcohol — all under one roof.
“We Are Thrilled,” Says Every Politician Ever
Mayor Scott Nickles — whose name sounds like he should be running a minor league baseball team, not a village — is pumped.
“When this facility opens, it will offer something for everyone and truly be a major draw for Round Lake Beach,” he declared, undoubtedly while imagining his next campaign flyer printed on an axe-shaped coaster.
And honestly? He might not be wrong. If there’s one thing Round Lake Beach needed more than another fast-casual chain, it’s a place where you can watch the latest Fast & Furious 19, then immediately pretend to be Vin Diesel on a Go-Kart ramp that loops like it’s auditioning for Mario Kart: Suburbia Drift.
Axe Me No Questions
Let’s take a moment to appreciate how far we’ve come as a society. We used to go to the movies to escape reality. Now, we go to the same building to throw axes at a wall while sipping hard seltzer.
Honestly, it’s poetic.
Somehow, in 2025, nothing says “community revitalization” like repurposing a fire-scarred, bankrupt theater into an indoor amusement park where you can launch a blade with more accuracy than most people can parallel park. Progress!
Of course, nothing attracts insurance adjusters and bachelor parties quite like an indoor arsenal. The possibilities for themed nights are endless:
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“Mommy Needs a Margarita” Mondays
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“Therapy Is Expensive, Try Throwing Stuff” Thursdays
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“Tinder Date Gone Wrong” Wednesdays (safety waiver required)
Go-Karting Into the Future
And don’t forget the pièce de résistance: the multi-level, electric Go-Kart track. Because clearly, nothing makes a better impression on out-of-towners than watching your cousin Chad fly off a ramp at 20 mph, yelling “YOLO” while barely missing a 10-year-old on their birthday.
Electric Go-Karts mean two things:
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Environmentally conscious adrenaline.
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Slightly quieter vehicular mayhem (just enough to hear the sound of a disgruntled dad muttering, “This was supposed to be relaxing.”)
Let’s be honest — the only thing more exhilarating than indoor racing is multi-level indoor racing. It's like NASCAR meets Westfield Mall meets climate action.
What About the Ghost of Regal Cinemas?
Ah yes, let’s not forget the scorched history of this building.
Before Thakkar Developers came waltzing in with their blueprints and Texas-sized ambition, this place was, well, smoldering — literally. In April 2024, local authorities responded to a fire alarm and found that vandals (read: bored suburban youths with zero hobbies) had turned the place into their own twisted version of The Purge: Cinematic Edition.
Two of the theaters went up in flames, the lobby was torched, and damage estimates hit $100,000 — which, ironically, is the amount of popcorn profit Regal needed to stay alive.
The alleged firebugs — 20-year-old Anthony P. Shields and 19-year-old David M. Dolan — were charged with arson, presumably after confusing “movie night” with “DIY demolition derby.” No word yet on whether they'll be banned from the axe-throwing lanes in 2026.
A Strategic Pivot from “Vandal Magnet” to “Family Mecca”
According to Gil Rivera, Economic Development Director (and apparent eternal optimist), the new project will not only create jobs but will turn Round Lake Beach into a “go-to destination for families throughout Lake County.”
Which is probably true, if you consider that the competition consists mostly of a couple bowling alleys, some uneven skate parks, and a Buffalo Wild Wings that’s too loud even for deaf grandpas.
And hey — with “space for meetings and parties,” we now have the ultimate answer to every HR department’s worst nightmare: the quarterly sales summit at the Go-Kart bar. Nothing says “team-building” like Karen from accounting blacking out in a ball pit.
Development With a Capital D (and an Axe)
Officials from Round Lake Beach reportedly flew down to Texas to tour an existing version of the concept. Because if there’s one thing this story needed, it’s a field trip to the Lone Star State — where everything is bigger, including the dreams of turning a strip mall theater into the new Disneyland for people who fear actual crowds.
No word yet on whether their tour included an afterparty at a Buc-ee’s.
Still, this project is part of the Village's broader plan to boost the area’s retail and entertainment corridor. The phrase “retail and entertainment corridor,” by the way, is what planners say when they don’t want to admit it's mostly nail salons and vape shops.
So… Is This a Good Idea?
Honestly? Yeah.
It’s weird. It’s loud. It’s aggressive. It’s expensive. But it’s also a hell of a lot better than letting another sad husk of suburban retail rot into a graffiti museum.
Do people need more places to take their kids that don’t involve playground mulch and a 45-minute wait for chicken nuggets? Absolutely.
Does Round Lake Beach need something — anything — to keep people from driving 40 minutes to Gurnee Mills just to be disappointed by a Rainforest Café and an Old Navy clearance rack? YES.
Is there a small risk that Go-Karts + alcohol + emotionally repressed Midwestern dads = total chaos? Always. But that’s part of the charm.
In Conclusion: Buckle Up, Chuckles
The Family Entertainment Center™ might sound like the punchline to a joke about suburban decay — but if we’re being real, it’s the exact kind of chaotic good energy Round Lake Beach needs. Because nothing quite says "we're back, baby" like laughing through a fog of Go-Kart fumes while gripping a double IPA and yelling, “Next round of axes is on me!”
Round Lake Beach, welcome to your renaissance. It smells like popcorn, burnt rubber, and redemption.
See you on the track.