Oh, what a time to be alive. World crises rage on, billionaires shoot themselves into space for Instagram clout, and here we are, blessed — blessed — with the urgent, earth-shaking knowledge that actress Triptii Dimri once stole eyeliner from her aunt. Stop the presses, y'all. This is Pulitzer stuff.
In a recent interview that Vogue India probably spent about eight minutes editing between sips of matcha, Triptii — best known for her role in Animal, and now, unofficially, for her vague skincare enthusiasm — opened up about childhood scents, DIY face masks, and the ever-critical skill of "looking good enough to care but messy enough to be artsy" in just ten minutes. We must bow down.
And if you think I’m kidding, oh no. This is the real tea: crayons are now canonically a part of a sophisticated scent journey. Move over, Byredo. Crayola's coming for your brand.
Scent of a Childhood: Crayons, Erasers, and Existential Dread
Apparently, when Triptii digs into the memory banks for the smell of her youth, it’s not fresh jasmine, or her mom’s cooking, or rainy soil — it’s crayons and erasers.
Honestly, relatable. There’s nothing quite like the PTSD whiff of cheap Crayolas snapping mid-spelling test to remind you of your raw, unfiltered childhood trauma. Maybe this is a genius marketing ploy. I can see it now:
"Introducing Kindergarten Glam — a new unisex fragrance by Triptii Dimri. Top notes of dusty erasers, base notes of desperation and half-eaten snacks. Only at Sephora."
If Gwyneth Paltrow can sell candles that smell like her vagina, surely Triptii can monetize eraser fumes.
Stealing Eyeliner: A Cautionary Tale
Our heroine also confesses that the first product she nicked was an eyeliner from her aunt. Gasp. I'm sure Interpol is working diligently to track down this decades-old eyeliner heist.
And of course, it’s eyeliner. It’s always eyeliner. Eyeliner is the gateway drug of beauty crime. Today you’re stealing a kohl pencil; tomorrow you’re elbow-deep in Sephora samples pretending you “might buy something.”
Triptii’s humble criminal beginnings somehow make her... almost too relatable. If you didn't pocket a forbidden lipstick from your mom’s vanity as a kid, were you even alive?
Noodles As a Personality Trait
We also learn that Triptii's guilty pleasure is noodles. Noodles. As in, the default "I give up on life" meal. At this point, I’m convinced half of all beauty interviews are designed by a Mad Libs generator:
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First scent memory: Crayons.
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First crime: Eyeliner theft.
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Guilty pleasure: Noodles.
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Skin secret: Rosewater and hope.
You could replace her name with literally any millennial woman’s and the interview would still track. Maybe next week Vogue can publish a hard-hitting exposé called "Ten Celebrities Reveal That, Shocker, They Also Like Carbs."
DIY Face Packs: Hope In a Bowl
When it comes to skincare, Triptii trusts... her kitchen. She mixes sandalwood, rosewater, and honey into what sounds suspiciously like something you’d spread on toast, not your face.
Now, I’m not here to ruin anyone’s turmeric fantasies, but dermatologists everywhere are quietly having a collective stroke. Dr. Shareefa Chause gently reminds us — without screaming into the void, mind you — that DIY remedies can actually torch your face if you’re not careful.
You’d think “Maybe consult a dermatologist instead of rubbing salad dressing on your skin” would be common sense, but here we are, 2025, living in the era of TikTok lemon facials and vampire snail slime rituals.
Of course, telling people not to listen to celebrity beauty advice is like telling toddlers not to touch the shiny stove. But still, shoutout to Dr. Shareefa for trying to save humanity, one crusty sandalwood casualty at a time.
‘Quite Meditative’: The Bedtime Skincare Saga
Triptii also reveals that her nighttime skincare routine is "quite meditative" — and listen, she’s not wrong. Nothing lulls you into a peaceful slumber quite like realizing you spent $150 on sheet masks that smell like fermented mushrooms.
Apparently, Triptii goes hard on face masks. Sheet masks, to be precise. Not the overnight ones though — she draws the line there. Because we all have standards.
Her nightly ritual sounds like something between a spiritual cleanse and a low-budget horror movie: dozens of damp, ghostly sheets clinging to her face while she contemplates the greater mysteries of life, like “Did I drink enough water today?” and “Why do I have eight different serums when my skin still looks the same?”
It’s all very meditative indeed — if you define meditation as lying there motionless, reconsidering all your financial decisions.
10-Minute Glam: Smudge, Tint, Repeat
Now, if you only have 10 minutes to achieve peak glam, Triptii recommends smudged kajal, tinted lips, and messy hair.
Translation: "Look like you stayed out all night crying, but make it fashion."
Honestly, this is the only beauty tip in this entire interview that resonates. Smudged eyeliner? Tinted lips? Disheveled hair? That's not a beauty look, that's just Tuesday for the rest of us.
And yet, somehow, when a Bollywood actress does it, it’s “effortless chic.” When I do it, it’s “Are you okay, should we call someone?”
The audacity.
Glitter Lips and Fake Freckles: Choose Your Fighter
During a lightning round (because why drag this out any longer than necessary), Triptii confessed a love for glitter lipstick, sheet masks, hair perfumes, face oils, and fake freckles.
Yes, fake freckles — the ultimate plot twist of the 2020s. Society spent literally centuries teaching people to cover up freckles, and now influencers are drawing them back on with eyebrow pencils while charging $24.99 for the privilege. Peak capitalism, really.
And glitter lipstick? Ma’am. Some of us are still traumatized by the trauma that was early-2000s glitter makeup, when you’d leave the house looking like a disco ball and return home looking like you survived an industrial accident.
But sure. Shine on, you sparkly warrior.
Things She Will Not Do: Bleached Brows and Salmon Sperm Facials
In a rare moment of good sense, Triptii confirms that she draws the line at bleached eyebrows and salmon sperm facials.
Two questions:
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Why is salmon sperm even on the menu?
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WHO REQUESTED THIS?
Beauty culture is a lawless hellscape. Somewhere out there, a marketing executive — probably named Chad — saw a fish ejaculation and thought, "You know what this reminds me of? A luxury skincare serum."
We truly deserve every plague coming our way.
Final Verdict: Is Triptii Our Beauty Guru Now?
Listen, as much as I have roasted this entire episode of Beauty Confessions: The Vogue Chronicles, I’ll say this: Triptii Dimri is charming. She’s chaotic, she’s relatable, and she’s exactly the kind of unbothered DIY queen who would moisturize her face with kitchen staples and call it a day.
Is she qualified to give skincare advice? Absolutely not. Should you be copying her rosewater-sandalwood concoction without consulting a professional? Also no.
But is she delightfully normal in a world where every celebrity claims their beauty secret is $10,000 laser treatments and "drinking water"? Yes. And for that, we salute her.
So the next time you’re smearing honey on your face at 11 p.m., listening to the faint sound of your dignity slipping away, just remember: you, too, are living the Triptii Dimri dream. Crayons and all.
